Campout in the Courtyard

To hear this story, go to: Campout in The Courtyard 

 

What was I thinking?

Just because I had a way to get in does not mean that I should be here. This could be a very dangerous place.

But I said I would not leave him; I would not fall away.

I want to see the legion of angels he said would come if he called, or else follow him in death. I am all in!

Only hours ago we celebrated the Festival of Unleavened Bread, as did all of Jerusalem, though it now seems like a long time ago.

‘Pack quickly’ Moshe told the people ‘for we will be leaving shortly’. And ‘spread the blood of a perfect unblemished lamb over your doorsill in order to save yourselves from the next plague’.

Still, they had no idea what was really coming. That’s how I feel now.

This evening he said to us,

“I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God.”

When he broke the bread he said it was his body… like manna from heaven it seems… but what does broken bread have to do with his body? I remember that he said something like that a few years ago too. It still seems so abstract. But that is the way he talks.

Then, after supper, he took the cup, saying,

“This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!”

I could tell that he was expecting something big would be happening soon. We have been waiting for this. But I didn’t understand his explanation, and don’t see how tonight’s events fit with what he said. We have all been waiting to see the fulfillment of his plan. Surely, we who are his followers will have seats of honor in the coming kingdom. I might even ascend as he does.

Funny thing… Earlier, as we ate, he said to me:

“Shim’on, Shim’on, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Shim’on, that your faith may not fail.”

To me he said this! I am the one on whom he looked – I remember that day so well even though it was three years ago now – he looked at me and said

“You are Shim’on son of Yochanan. You will be called Kepha” the Rock!

How does one reply to a report that Satan wants to sift you? I told him

“Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death!” I am all in!

After the meal this evening he asked us all

“When I sent you without purse, bag or sandals, did you lack anything?”

“Nothing” we answered.

He said “But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one. It is written: ‘And he was numbered with the transgressors’; and I tell you that this must be fulfilled in me. Yes, what is written about me is reaching its fulfillment.”

Then we collected our things and headed out to the Mount of Olives, one of our favorite places, overlooking the valley, and with a clear view of Jerusalem and the Temple.

As we prayed in the garden it was I who carried a sword (of sorts), expecting the worst. I am all in.

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” He had said to us. I gave it all I had to the point of exhaustion.

Later he said:

“Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.” The crowd that came bearing weapons was led by Yehudah, one of our own, but they did not come to flock to Yeshua’s side. They came to arrest him by force. “Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!” Yeshua said.

I rose up all right, wiping the exhaustion from my eyes! I drew my sword as they came on. And I used it! I took on the guards, single-handedly! At least until Yeshua stopped me. I am all in. I am the Rock!

“Put your sword back in its place” he said to me.

After Yeshua healed the guard’s wound he said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him:

“Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour—when darkness reigns.”

Then they seized Yeshua and led him away as if he were a criminal. Of course, I beat a strategic retreat, to live to fight another day.

But I wanted to know what would happen, so I followed at a discreet distance.

Now here I am, in the courtyard of the High Priest, waiting. It must not be time yet, but I will stay close to see what comes next. The others ran away. He said His Father would send twelve legions of angels to rescue him at his bidding, and that the Scriptures must be fulfilled.

Oh, thank you God! Some have kindled a fire against this night cold. Maybe I should keep my identity cloaked so I can stay ready to come to his aid when the time is right. These people seem to hate him so.

One of the servant girls just walked up and said.

“You also were with Yeshua of Galilee.”

But I answered “Woman, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

That should throw them off – just a little white lie. I don’t know for sure when she was referring to. Whatever moment she is recalling, maybe I was there, but without more information I certainly could not know for sure.

Indeed, it is chilly out here, under the stars. Even this small fire is a blessing. It must be quite late. I have often been fishing at this hour, but not after a day like the one we just had. I am so tired, and yet so awake.

Perhaps I should get out of this firelight so as not to draw such attention to myself. I will slip over near the exit gate and find out what I might see from there.

“This fellow was with Yeshua of Nazareth” another servant girl just said. How could she possibly know that?

“Are you one of them?”, asked the man next to her.

This might not go well…

“I don’t know the man” I carefully reply.

That seemed to dissuade them. Still, perhaps I should wander a bit, and blend into this crowd.

How many servant girls crossed my path in these last three years, unnoticed, yet noticing me with my Lord?

The night must be nearly over. The sun will be up soon. Still no sign of my Lord. Oh wait, something is happening! A group of guards is coming out of the house. Is he with them?

“Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.” Said a man who must have followed me from the gate.

I object strenuously, even trying to change my voice. I even called down curses on myself so it sounded all the more convincing. Then I repeated all the louder

“I don’t know the man!”

Did that man ask because he wanted to harm me, or did he want to know Yeshua? Should I have taken the time to find out?

Morning breaks! There is the rooster’s call. And there is my lord! He is so beaten he is almost unrecognizable. What is going on? He is turning this way and looking, compassion still in his eyes…

 

O lord, I failed you! Just as you said!

“Before the rooster crows, I would disown you three times.”

And indeed, I have. I don’t understand. How could this have happened?

 

What should I do now?

Run! Where to go? Just away! I have to get out of here, now! Keep running!

It’s as if my tongue is on fire! Words now stick in my throat. I can’t even control my breathing. Even as I try to escape I am not seeing or thinking clearly. My eyes are burning now too, even though wet. Oh, that I could have set a guard over my mouth and never responded to them! If only I could live these last few hours over again, I might have been able to take a different course.

I will never be able to look him in the eye again – if I ever even get the chance to try. He was right about me all along.

How could I have been so wrong about this course of events?

The way he looked at me… I don’t understand… He looked at me with love in his eyes, even as I failed him so miserably.

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.” reads Proverbs. But what does that counsel say of these last several hours? What will become of me now?

I am not who I thought I was. I was never trained to be a soldier. The Rock! Ha! Far more like a very small, insignificant pebble. Or am I just a clump of wet sand, easily sifted by a simple splash of water. What was I thinking? Where can I hide?

 

(c) 2017 Chuck Curtiss

To read other similar stories in this series see The Witness List.

Based on Matt 26:31-75 and Luke 22:1-62

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